How to handle difficult conversations with employees

Approaching an employee about a sensitive subject is one of the less pleasant tasks that a manager will face. Sooner or later however, it is one that every manager will have to deal with.

There is a right and a wrong way of handling a situation like this, and the aim should always be to avoid escalating things. If you want an in-depth guide to managing difficult conversations, you can read our free one here. This blog will offer an overview of the basics.

Preparation and approach

There are things you should do before the conversation so that you are ready for anything that might happen:

Gather facts

You will need to get as many facts together as you can. Go over data about their performance; statements to HR concerning any incidents; and their contract. This way there will be no ambiguity during the conversation.

Anticipate reactions

Be prepared for the employee to react in an emotional way and prepare responses that are constructive and that help to calm the situation.

Choose the time/place

The conversation should take place somewhere that is quiet, private and neutral. This will make sure everything discussed remains confidential.

Be direct

It will be uncomfortable, but you need to get straight to the point of the meeting. Your tone should be direct but never aggressive or hostile.

During the conversation

Use “I” statements

The use of “I” statements during the conversation will clarify to the employee that you are talking from your perspective. This can help to keep the discussion open and stop them from becoming defensive.

Listen actively

What is supposed to be happening is a dialogue, so you must give the employee room to express their view of events and listen attentively. This will show them that they are respected and will help you in resolving the issue.

Focus on behaviour, not personality

The conversation should remain focused on clear and specific conduct incidents or performance data, not more general personality matters. This is crucial to keeping things on track and reaching a productive conclusion.

Show empathy

While you must remain clear on the facts of the case, it is important to understand and acknowledge the feelings of the employee.

Seek solutions together

Work with the employee to find a solution to the problem. Set steps for them that are clear, achievable and actionable.

After the conversation

Document the meeting

You will need to keep documentation of the meeting. This should cover everything that was discussed, what actions were agreed to resolve the situation, and a timeline for when you will follow up.

Follow up

The next stage will be a follow up meeting based on that timeline. Here you will have the opportunity to assess whether or not things are getting better and provide further support and guidance. The follow up meeting is every bit as important as the initial one and it should go ahead according to the timeline – rather than being delayed.

Key tips for success

Try to remain calm

The first tip for successfully handling difficult conversations with employees is to remain on an even keel. This might be a challenge, depending on their reactions, but allowing yourself to become emotional will be counterproductive. It will almost guarantee that the situation escalates.

Take your time

Set aside enough time for the meeting to cover everything that it needs to. The last thing you want to have is a rush at the end, as that will increase the risk of a bad resolution – or no resolution at all.

Bring support

It can be a wise idea to have some professional support with you at the meeting. That generally means someone from the HR department, whether it is your in-house team or an outsourced representative. They are trained in managing employee relations and will know how to keep things on track while preventing escalation. They will also have an awareness of legal issues and company policies, so can ensure compliance with them.

Here at FiveRivers Consulting, we can provide you with employee relations consultants in Bedfordshire with the expertise to handle this kind of situation. Why not give us a call and get more information about how we can help you?